Dialogue with young people as the main protagonists of the choice to have children

Today, many are (finally) talking about the problem of lower birth rates and the need to increase births. But the first protagonists of the choice to have children are the young! It is with them that we need to engage in dialogue to understand if they want to generate new lives and what are the difficulties they encounter.

On the occasion, several experts will speak and ample space will be given to young people to have their say on the subject. But already some elements of reflection can be developed starting from the numerous researches on the subject as well as from the testimonies of new mothers published on the social page of the Network for Nascent Life Day, organizer of the event https://www.facebook.com/giornatavitanascente.

The surveys carried out in recent years give contradictory results: all indicate that the desire to have children is decreasing, but with important variations: Eurispes (2020 – target 18-30 years) reports that 70.5% of the interviewees believes that having children is a priority in one’s life; also the BVA DOXA study and the Observatory of Contemporary Families (2021 – 25-40 years) indicate that 74% of young people want to have children in the near future; on the contrary, for the study Donat Cattin Foundation – Noto Sondaggi polling institute (2021 – 18-20 years) 51% of adolescents do not imagine themselves as parents; and the Swg study (2020 – 25-44 years) says that only 57% agree with the statement that «without a child, a person’s life is incomplete».

So, even in a climate that is certainly not favorable, there is a desire to bring children into the world that resists, in the face of a growing number of young people who instead believe they can fulfill themselves even without taking care of new lives. And it is understandable, the messages that come from society are not encouraging: for the current Italian culture, beyond the statements of principle, the choice to have a child is essentially individual, there is no social enhancement; on the contrary, the obstacles in the way are growing, just think of the precariousness of work and at the same time the organization of work itself which is not very flexible, which mainly hinders women.

But also the prevalence of unstable relationships, which do not give guarantees for the future of the child, and of a narcissistic culture, in which the self is at the center and there is no space to welcome someone else who asks you to «go down from the pedestal «. And finally, as the young people themselves point out, the lack of consistent, certain and lasting institutional aid, which is a sign that the State, the Municipality… recognize that having children is a precious asset.

On the other hand, there is a large slice of young people who resist and continue to want to have children. Because? What animates them? The BVA DOXA-Contemporary Families Observatory survey mentioned above tried to investigate this aspect too; it follows that the main reasons are the desire to build a family and the desire for motherhood / paternity. Furthermore, for 52% of the interviewees, children represent an enrichment, the greatest joy. Fewer are those who believe that having children is important for the future of Italy and the other European countries.

In short, behind the opening to the generation there is a desire for happiness and the completion of their lives, while those who do not want children have given up, motivated by the many worries on a personal and social .

level as well as by the many obstacles in the way. To these considerations, the mothers who brought us their experience add another: openness to life is facilitated by an attitude of «lightness», of inner tranquility in the face of the many challenges of life: «I did not feel ready to becoming a mother, but we had a good dose of lightheartedness and we launched into this adventure, ”says Susanna, while Anna says that other women“ really want to become mothers but are terrified of having to manage a child. They feel inadequate, insufficient and fear a thousand dangers and fears ”.

Institutions are the first to have to give signals to strengthen the motivations for opening up to life and help remove the many obstacles. Faced with the disastrous situation of births, which is already causing so much damage to our country and will bring many more, the political class can no longer stand by and cannot limit itself to giving the necessary economic support, but it must also say clearly : «We are interested in young people choosing to become parents!»

The Network that organized the meeting has its own proposal: to establish a nascent Life Day in Italy, as already happens in 11 other countries of the world, to say that becoming parents is beautiful, that it makes you happy, that every new life is a wonder that deserves to be known and loved.

Precisely in the days when the new Chambers begin their activity in Italy, this meeting proposes to the newly elected to put on the agenda a small but significant proposal to reverse the course, to relaunch a beautiful and challenging proposal to young people that meets their deepest desires. Hopefully this dialogue and proposals will be extended to European countries