Abortion and domestic violence
Among the multiple consequences resulting from abortion, the relationship of the couple who carries out the decision – if they made it together – is one of the least treated in studies and reports, when compared to the loss of life. of the child or how the mother herself is affected for life. Psychotherapist Theresa Karminski Burke, also co-founder of the pro-life spiritual help initiative for people who have had abortions, Rachel’s Vineyard, recently spoke about this aspect. His experience in this regard, in addition to what is strictly professional, is notable, which he has captured in books such as Forbidden Duel: The Unspoken Pain of Abortion.
As reported by Provita e famiglia, the specialist affirms that abortion is often a decision made in the face of a threat of abandonment, thus convincing themselves that they will save their relationship if they end their child. It is, however, an argument that “practically never works” as expected. “Shortly after abortion, many couples’ relationships break up. Others survive only because the couple is still united by grief: these relationships often become prolonged and mutually destructive rituals of mourning.
Even married couples often separate after an abortion unless they find a way to go through the grieving process together, she explains. Among some of the reasons behind these breakups, the pro-life activist observes that anger, resentment or bitterness are usually frequent feelings that arise towards the partner who did not support the upcoming motherhood or who ignored the desire to maintain and care for the baby. At the same time, she adds, “there is often great pressure in the relationship to hide true feelings of pain or guilt.” This can be a problem especially for men,” who are more inclined to hide their emotions or appear “strong” so as not to hurt the woman more.
However, the latter can be marked by an abortion – whether or not they are responsible for it – in a similar way to women. “Many report having post-abortion problems such as pain, helplessness, guilt, substance abuse, self-hatred, fear of relationships, suicidal behavior, depression, a tendency toward anger or violence, or a feeling of loss of virility,” enumerates.
It may also happen that the woman who has an abortion tries to keep it a secret, even though the hormonal alterations [after the abortion] and the changes in behavior [due to the secrecy] that will follow are usually difficult to hide and also “devastating for the patient.” marriage”. If kept secret, the psychotherapist and pro-life activist knows from her experience in her initiatives that doing so “prevents couples from giving and receiving unconditional love,” which “deprives the relationship of being able to reach its maximum potential.
” Abortion and domestic violence increase: one of many reasons It can destroy the couple to the point that Dr. Karminski dares to affirm that the “almost equal” increase in abortion rates and domestic violence rates may “not be a coincidence.”
“For both women and men, abortion is associated with self-hatred, self-punishing behavior, and a greater tendency to act aggressively and angrily toward others,” she emphasizes.
Although “there are many other causes of domestic violence,” the pro-life psychotherapist concludes by stating emphatically that there is significant statistical evidence and numerous case studies show that “abortion contributes to this tragedy. Until these women and men are provided with an environment conducive to post-abortion healing, they will likely remain trapped in these cycles of violence.”